


bring it back (because you don't know what it means to me)

by figlaurel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter's my baby :(, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-snap, Tony Stark Lives, Uncle Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 09:02:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21296915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/figlaurel/pseuds/figlaurel
Summary: If you asked him: Peter was fine, he just stayed up late last night doing homework - Everything’s fine. Although he knew that no-one believed him when he said that. He could tell from the worried stares Ned gives him from the corner of his eye in AP Chemistry when he could barely stay awake, from Happy’s furrowed brow through the rearview mirror when he looked like he was going to cry from kids making fun of him all day, and from Tony’s softness around him when they were in the lab together.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark (implied), Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	bring it back (because you don't know what it means to me)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title of the work is from the song "Love of my life" by Queen.

Peter Parker was many things: Spider-Man, Aunt May’s nephew, Tony Stark’s mentee, but above all -- he was tired. He was so tired, and he found himself going through the motions every day. He went to school with droopy eyes and came home with slouching shoulders. He would like to say that it’s from ridding Queens of crime, but it wasn’t. It was from nightmares and school work. 

Only 3 months ago he had been returned from the Snap and he feels like he’s floating on thin air all the time - his brain is jumbled and he doesn’t feel like he’s in control of his body. A quick Google search confirmed that his Depersonalization was probably from anxiety. But he doesn't feel like he should have it - he’s a superhero and superheroes don’t get anxiety. It was just something that didn’t occur, like how the sky isn’t red -  <strike> but it was and you couldn’t breathe and you were dying and you finally got your hug.  </strike>

If you asked him: Peter was fine, he just stayed up late last night doing homework - Everything’s fine. Although he knew that no-one believed him when he said that. He could tell from the worried stares Ned gives him from the corner of his eye in AP Chemistry when he could barely stay awake, from Happy’s furrowed brow through the rearview mirror when he looked like he was going to cry from kids making fun of him all day, and from Tony’s softness around him when they were in the lab together. But he wasn’t porcelain, he’s not going to break, and if he does it will be in the confines of his own room. He came close before in front of Tony  _ and _ Harley.

And that right there was a new addition. _ Harley.  _ Not only when he came back from the Snap did Tony have a daughter, but he also rekindled with Harley. Harley’s parents didn’t die in the Snap, they died in a plane crash when the pilot died during it. Now, he had his own room at the cabin and his own workbench in the labs. Peter didn’t have a room, all his rooms were temporary or guest rooms cleaned out just for him. He hated it, and he hates Harley.

Harley makes him feel inferior, and Peter shouldn’t care so much because he  _ is _ better than him and he can see why Tony would love him more. He doubts Tony even loves him anymore, it probably faded when he started to love two more children. With Harley, Tony can play loud music whenever he wants, and he can work more on mechanics than chemicals - which he enjoys more. Tony has more fun with Harley - and it shows. And why should Peter care? It’s just another person who’s moved on.

As close as Ned and him were Peter can tell that Ned’s drifting away, that’s he’s finding new friends to build Lego Death Stars with. Peter doesn't blame him, he wouldn’t hang out with himself either. But it still feels like there’s a knife digging into his chest. Every breath hurt, and he’s been grinding his teeth so hard that he’s getting daily headaches. He doesn't mind the pain though, it the only way he feels like he’s real. Other times he feels like he’s floating, and can’t find an anchor. 

Tony Stark used to be his anchor but now he’s too busy with Harley. Aunt May is too busy with her finance (another thing he missed while he was gone for 5 years), and Ned is hanging out with his new friends. Peter has never felt so alone in the world. He’s taken to wandering aimlessly around town but always finding himself back at Stark Tower. Tony isn’t there often since he’s spending time with his family at the cabin, but Clint Barton is and Peter finds himself in his company a lot.

Although Clint’s family came back from the Snap, he always makes time for Peter. They spend countless days spending time together, watching movies and doing pranks on Dr. Banner and Bucky Barnes who both are still living at the tower. But often, Clint just holds him as he cries into his chest - exhausted down to the core. 

Months later, it was another rough day when Peter was sitting, leaning against Clint and crying as the man rubs his back when Mr. Stark and Harley decided to spend the weekend at the tower to use the infinitely better labs. 

Tony Stark hadn’t seen his pseudo son very much since he came back from the Snap, and May hasn’t either as she reported. It was worrying, and honestly, he just missed having the ball of sunshine around. Harley is his son, and Morgans his daughter - don’t get him wrong - but Peter was his baby. He found himself happy when he was around for the first time in over a decade. Peter was the one who helped him get past his craving of death after Cap’s betrayal, and he’s helped Peter through countless sleepless nights due to homework.

It wasn’t surprising that his heart throbbed upon seeing his boy half-asleep against Barton’s chest with tear-trails down his cheeks. He feels the stiffening of Harley next to him. They had met on a few occasions, and Harley confided in him that he really liked the boy and wanted to be like a brother to him.

Barton looked up, and upon catching Tony’s eyes, scowls. Most of Peter’s pain stemmed from Tony Stark, and he wasn’t happy to be in his presence. He instinctively pulls Peter tighter against his chest. 

Tony tries a couple of times and it’s hard to get any words past his clogged up throat, “Is he okay?”

“Why should you care?” Clint replies without hesitation, almost in a full-on staredown with the man, “You didn’t care before, so why should you care now?”

“What do you mean? I’ve been there for him longer than you have!”

“Then where were you when he came over every night for weeks after the Snap crying about how he didn’t feel real, and how he keeps waking up panicked and screaming because he thinks he’s on Titan again? Where were you when he felt so alone and like a burden, because no-one spends time with anymore and they have all moved on - even you with spending more time with Harley rather than shoot him a single text. As far as I am concerned: you weren’t here when he needed you the most like I, Banner, and Barnes have, you have single-handedly lost one of the most amazing people I have ever met due to your negligence. How does that feel, Iron Man?” Clint sneers, flames burning in his eyes, “If you ruined this amazing boy, I won’t hesitate to come after you and make you regret it, because he doesn’t deserve all the pain you have caused,”

**Author's Note:**

> Oof this was a ride. I started it off strong but by the end, I started to hate it. Sorry for this being so horrible.
> 
> I haven't posted anything on here since like 2017, yikeess.
> 
> Also, I wanted this fic to have a hurt/comfort scene between Tony and Peter but it didn't work like that. 
> 
> Please note, I am not hating on Tony Stark, I love his character so much but for some reason, this is how this fic turned out.
> 
> Anyway - I hope you enjoyed it and let me know about mistakes in the fic :)


End file.
